It is almost two weeks from the start of the Rio conference on Men and Gender Equity.
The upcoming conference allows/compels me to reflect on some of the ways that we have approached working with men here in Canada. In some form or other I have devoted the bulk of my 29 years of professional and volunteer life experiences to men. I have had the honour and privilege of working with men in community and forensic settings from Halifax to Vancouver.
My primary focus has been, and will always be, with men who use violence and abuse in their relationships. But I have learned a great deal from First Nations programs and individuals about working from a position of compassion and respect and my work with men living with HIV/AIDS has reminded me of men's strength, dignity and capacity for sharing.
I have known men who have died with grace and dignity, men who have sacrificed everything for their children and partners, men who have taken their own lives in pain and desperation and men who have taken the lives of their wives/partners and other men.
Over these 29 years of experience working with men my perspective on this work and my relationship to the thousands of men that I have met has changed over time. These changes and my thoughts can be found in the article I wrote for Briarpatch magazine in 2007 - the link for that is:
http://briarpatchmagazine.com/2007/03/01/yesterdays-men-lost-opportunities-in-ending-violence-against-women/This year we see a number of conferences organized to discuss "innovations and trends in working with men who batter". There is one scheduled for Toronto this spring that will bring together program people from across Canada and there is one being hosted by the Domestic Abuse Project in Minneapolis (where I was trained). As I read through the program and the speakers list I am struck by how similar these conferences look in theme, tone and tenor to those conferences being held in the late '80's and early '90's.
Yes, the use of Narrative therapy influenced approaches with men is somewhat new and yes the drum beats louder and louder for men's "treatment programs" to be closely connected/integrated with the criminal justice system but little else has changed. We still see almost no recognition for the fact that the rates of violence against women in North America have not significantly declined over time and very little discussion about how to engage "with men" rather than "at them". Instead of conferencing to seriously reexamine the approaches we have used and to launch wholesale education and engagement campaigns with adult men and boys we continue to come together to rearrange the deck chairs.
RIO holds the potential for broadening our learning. Our compatriots in Latin America and elsewhere in the world passed us by a long time ago in reaching out to men who use violence, to men as fathers and to boys and men about sexual health issues.
I am going to Rio with an open mind and look forward to the learning.